


Blinding Darkness

by Csilvers



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: M/M, stiles is trapped in his own mind
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-03
Updated: 2013-10-26
Packaged: 2017-12-25 12:00:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/952827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Csilvers/pseuds/Csilvers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek and Cora are having a much earned vacation in Machu Picchu when suddenly Derek receives a phone call from Scott saying that Stiles is in a coma. The darkness in his heart has made Stiles a prisoner in his own mind, and Derek must find a way to break through and convince him to come back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, this is a quick speed writing exercise. I’ve been incredibly busy recently, and I’m probably only going to be able to update Spinning Into Place maybe once a week. So to keep the creative juices flowing, I decided to create a speed writing project for myself so that every day I write a little something short. Quick and unedited, so all mistakes are 100% my own. Enjoy!

Derek and Cora were walking through a park slowly, admiring the scenery. For the first time in what felt like years, Derek was able to sit back and just walk instead of running for his life. He was able to appreciate the feeling of the sun warming his skin, and the feeling of being at home, just walking stride by stride with a member of his family.

 

“You know why I wanted to come here?” Derek asked her. She looked up at him. “Because it’s a place of restoration.”

 

“Fitting”, she said, smiling. “You know who would have loved Machu Picchu? Laura.” He nodded silently. “It’ll never be okay that she’s gone, Derek. We’re never going to get back what we lost, but at least there’s something left.”

 

“We’re both alive”, he told her. “That’s what matters.”

 

His phone beeped, and Cora pulled it out of his pocket. “Funny that he never says anything”, she told him. “Got used to him not shutting up.”

 

He rolled his eyes and took the phone from her hand, frowning at the screen. “It’s Scott. He says that it’s an emergency.” Derek dialed the number, putting the phone on speakerphone so that Cora could listen in. Scott picked up on the first ring. “What happened?” He asked

 

“You need to get back to Beacon Hills”, they heard Scott say over the phone.

 

“More specific, Scott”, Cora answered before Derek could say anything.

 

“It’s Stiles”, Scott told him. “There’s something wrong with him. Peter says that you’re the only one who can help.”

 

“Of course he did”, Derek answered. “Whatever it is, it can’t be me. I’m not an Alpha anymore, remember?”

 

“I’ve been an Alpha for two seconds in comparison to you. The power has to still be there somewhere. Cora never turned into an Alpha.”

 

“What happened to Stiles?” It was more of a demand than a question.

 

“We don’t know”, Scott said over the phone. “He collapsed. Peter and Deaton think that he’s trapped inside of his own mind, and that you’re the only one who can get him out.”

 

“How long?” Derek asked. There was silence over at the other end. “Scott’, he repeated sternly. “How. Long.”.

 

“Three days.”

 

Derek looked over at Cora, who answered, “That’s impossible.”

 

“You’re our last resort”, Scott told him. “Spells, enchantments, rituals, Deaton tried it all. I tried to heal him, nothing worked.”

  
“No, Scott”, Derek answered. “It’s impossible. Because Stiles sent me a blank text message three hours ago.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, this is a speed writing exercise, so it's rushed and fast paced, probably chock full of spelling and grammar issues, and plot holes. Please don't hate me.

Cora called for a rental car before they got on the plane. Derek gave her a smile when he saw it. “You know it’s not the same car”, he told her. “It’s not Laura’s.”

She shrugged. “Yeah, I know.” She held the keys out and shook them. “Doesn’t mean you can’t have fun with it.”

He shifted gears on the Black Camaro and sped as fast as he could to Deaton’s office. Scott was waiting for him outside, and Cora held him back. “We can’t go in there. There’s mountainash in the entrance.”

“There’s a back door”, Scott told him.

“That negates the purpose of protecting the place from werewolves”, she said, rolling her eyes.

“Why isn’t he in the hospital?” Derek asked immediately. “He’s not one of us, Scott. He should be in the hospital. Did you call his father?”

“The Sheriff’s here”, Scott told him as they walked around the building to the side door. “Hasn’t left his side.”

“Stiles is a human”, Derek said, opening the door. “He needs human treatment, medicine. He doesn’t need spells and enchantments. He needs to stay away from all of that.”

“It’s not a human problem”, Deaton called out. “Derek, thanks for coming. Cora, nice to see you again.”

“Yeah, some help you’ve been”, Cora bit out.

Derek held her back and nodded. “What happened?”

“The three of us- Allison, Stiles and I- we did a self-sacrificing ritual to save our parents from Ms. Blake”, Scott explained. “Deaton said that there would be a darkness surrounding us that we would feel for the rest of our lives. It looks like it’s having an effect on Stiles somehow.”

“And he just collapsed? Out of the blue? No explanation?” Derek asked

“He hadn’t been sleeping”, The Sheriff explained. “I didn’t think it was that serious, that it was just a side effect of the life that he was leading, the things that he had seen.”

“He hadn’t been sleeping at all?” Derek asked. “Not even a couple of hours here and there? He never fell asleep to take a nap somewhere?”

“I don’t know”, Scott said softly. “He looked tired, but he never took a nap anywhere.”

“Isaac”, Derek said, turning his head. “Did you notice anything different about him?”

Isaac stood straight instead of his leaning position against the wall. “I don’t know”, he mumbled, stepping forward so he was next to Scott. “He just looked tired.”

“We all made quick decisions that day, but we wouldn’t have changed them”, Scott told him.

Derek nodded. “I made my own quick decisions that day, but there are consequences, there always are.”

“I felt a darkness”, Scott explained. “But it was a hollow numbness.”

“Everyone interprets trauma differently”, Cora said. Derek felt her tugging him back. He hadn’t even noticed that he was inching closer to Scott.

“What do I have to do to help him?” Derek asked Deaton, not taking his eyes off of Scott and Isaac.

“We’re going to need to send electrical pulses to your brain, get both of your wavelengths at the same level so that when you try to heal him, you’ll find the place he’s trapped in”, Deaton explained. “You won’t be able to stay in there very long, so we might have to do this a couple of times.”

“What happens if I’m in there for too long?” Derek asked

“We might lose you both”, Deaton told him.

“This is a horrible idea”, a voice called out from nowhere. Derek turned around. It was Peter. “Derek, nice to see you. Cora, you’re looking well.”

“I’m assuming you weren’t able to help?” Derek asked. “You were able to look into Isaac’s mind when the Alphas took his memories.”

“It’s obvious to me that the only one who he’ll let in is you.”

The heart monitor suddenly spiked, his blood pressure elevated, and Derek turned to Stiles. “What’s happening? What’s going on?” Derek asked Deaton, who had rushed over to the body.

Suddenly, Stiles’ vitals settled, and there was a chiming noise coming from Derek’s phone. He pulled it out of his pocket, and looked at the screen before looking at Stiles. It was a blank text message.

“How is he doing that?” He asked Deaton

“He must be using a spark of energy to send you warning messages”, Deaton explained. “He’s creating a connection so that you can help him. How long have you been receiving them?”

“Since we left town”, Derek answered. “He must have known that something was wrong, that there was something different that nobody else could see. Why didn’t any of you see it?”

“I know my son”, The Sheriff interrupted.

Peter cleared his throat. “Obviously that’s not the case, since he’s been keeping his real life quiet for a year.”

“Peter”, Derek said, turning to face him. “Shut up.”

“You complete me”, Peter replied sarcastically.

“Are we going to do this or what?”

Deaton walked over to a drawer and pulled it open, taking out a handful of wires and producing another table for Derek to lie down on. “We’ll be monitoring your vitals, and we’ll pull you out if you’re in there for too long.”

“How are you going to do that?” Derek asked

Deaton pulled out the pen that he used to painfully bring him back after Lydia forced him to bring Peter back from the dead. “Remember this?”

“Vaguely”, he answered as Deaton hooked him up to machines and attached electrodes to different parts of your body. “I’m going to kill you both for this later”, he said to Scott and Isaac.

“You’re both going to be fine”, Cora told him, holding his hand. “I’ll be right here when you wake up.”

“Yeah”, he nodded.

“Sorry, one question. How is this my fault?” Isaac asked

“When I first changed you, what was the absolute first thing that I taught you all?” Derek asked

“Stiles is a human caught up in a life he shouldn’t be living in”, Isaac recited. “Protect him, no matter what it takes.”

“You didn’t do that very well, did you?”

“I thought he was fine”, Isaac told him.

“But you didn’t _know_ , did you?”

The next thing Derek felt was the shock travelling through his body. He winced, and the next thing he knew was darkness.

He was carrying a flashlight, which was fortunate, because without it, he would have no idea where he was going.

“Stiles?” He called out. “Stiles, where are you?”

Derek walked around for twenty minutes, calling out his name and feeling ridiculous when he saw a small light. He ran towards it. “Stiles?”

There was a small figure that was so skinny it was mostly skin covering bone. He was curled in a fetal position in front of the fire, his sleeves were rolled up, and his arms were covered in small cuts and bruises.

“Stiles”, Derek touched his shoulder and gave him a little shake. “Stiles, it’s me.”

He lifted his head. “Derek?”

“Yeah”, Derek let out a sigh of relief. “Come on, we’ve got to get you out of here.”

Stiles crawled back away from him as fast as he could. “Whatever you are, get the hell away from me.”

“Stiles, it’s me”, he answered, trying to step forward. Stiles reached in his pocket and pulled out a gun. Derek froze in place. “Stiles?”

“You’re not Derek”, Stiles replied. “Derek and Cora died two months ago. You’re not real. This is just a test.”


	3. Chapter 3

Derek held out a hand. “Stiles, it’s me. I swear, it’s me.”

 

“Derek’s dead”, he repeated. “He’s gone. He’s not coming back. It’s my fault. I broke all the rules. I just wanted to help him so badly.”

 

“What did you do?” Derek asked. “What rules did you break?”

 

“I tried to shake him awake. Tried to slap him and punch him and did everything I could to get him to wake up. The doctors said I made it worse, that I sped up the process. I killed him.”

 

“You saved my life”, Derek told him, stepping forward. “And Cora told me that you saved hers too. She says you gave her mouth to mouth and helped her breathe again.”

 

Stiles shook his head, gun still pointed at Derek. “She was unconscious when I tried and it didn’t work.”

 

“If you just come back with me, I’ll show you that she’s fine. She’s alive and happy and smiling.”

 

Stiles cocked the gun. “Derek and Cora don’t smile. Peter smirks, he plans, but he doesn’t smile either.”

  
Is that what Stiles thought of him? That his entire family was incapable of smiling? That he was incapable of smiling? “I’ve smiled a couple of times in front of you. It wasn’t for the usual reasons that people smile.”

 

Stiles stood up. “I’m listening.”

 

“We broke into the station once. I smiled to create a diversion for you.”

 

“And the other time?” Stiles asked, voice shaking

 

“Erica got in my car after I turned her into a werewolf.” Derek felt a sinking in his stomach as he mentioned the name. It was easier to forget that they existed, especially in front of Cora. She was friends with both of them in that safe.

 

“You remember Erica?” Stiles asked

 

“You were there the night Boyd died”, Derek said quietly. “I promise you, I would much rather it if I were dead in your mind and they were all alive, but it isn’t. And I’m sorry for that every day.”

 

Stiles lowered the gun. “Derek? Is that really you?”

 

Derek let out a sigh of relief. “Yeah. I’m going to get you out of here.”

 

“If you’re Derek, then where did you go? Why did you disappear?”

 

“We left town”, Derek explained. “Me and Cora needed a break from the town.”

 

“And that wasn’t wise at all”, a voice said, coming out of nowhere. It was Gerard.

 

“What’s he doing here?” Stiles asked. “Did you bring him here with you?”

 

Derek put a hand on Stiles’ shoulder, trying to push him in the opposite direction of where Gerard was. “Stiles, I have to get you out of here right now.”

 

“How could you bring him here after what he did to me?” Stiles asked frantically, stepping away from Derek and running out.

 

Derek shook his head. “Stiles, I didn’t.”

 

He turned away from Stiles to see where Gerard was, but he had disappeared. By the time he looked back over to where Stiles was standing, there was nobody there either. Stiles was running away.

 

“Stiles!” Derek chased after him into the darkness, following the echos of Stiles’ hurried footsteps. His flashlight had disappeared.

 

“Stiles, I didn’t bring him here. You have to trust me!” He called out. “Whatever’s going on, we have to stick together to make it out of here alive.”

 

He was catching up to Stiles, he could feel it. He almost had a hand on him to pull him back and try to convince him that he didn’t bring Gerard here, when he heard a loud pinging noise. Derek dropped down to his knees, holding his ears in pain.

 

There was only one thing that he was able to hear from Stiles through the noise.

 

“You’re the one that hates me. Not the other way around.”

  
Before Derek could respond, his eyes snapped open and he was back in Deaton’s office.


	4. Chapter 4

He felt Cora gripping his hand as he shot up from the table. The first person he looked at was Scott. “You didn’t tell him?” Derek asked

  
“I didn’t tell him what?”

 

“You didn’t tell him that we just left town for a little while?”

 

“Derek, what happened?” Cora asked, squeezing his shoulder.

 

“He thought we were dead all this time”, he told her. “He’s been blaming himself, thought that he couldn’t save us.”

 

Stiles had this idea in his head that he made Derek worse so that he couldn’t be saved, when Stiles was the reason that both he and Cora were still breathing.

 

“He knew that you were alive”, Scott answered. “I told him you two left town, that we weren’t sure if you were going to come back.”

 

“Why did you say that?” Derek asked

 

“We weren’t sure if you were going to”, Isaac interrupted. “You left without saying goodbye to anyone but Scott. With everything that’s happened, all that we’ve lost...it’s understandable if you wanted to leave for good.”

 

“A Hale has always stayed in Beacon Hills”, Peter answered. “Neither of them would have trusted me to be the only one here.”

 

“Can you blame us?” Cora asked

 

Peter shook his head. “That’s not important. What’s important is the fact that over time, Stiles interpreted their absence as death.”

 

“The darkness could have transformed it in his mind”, Deaton told him.

 

“Gerard was there”, Derek said quietly, looking at Stiles’ sleeping body. “He was terrified. Said that Gerard did something to him. What happened?”

 

Scott shrugged. “I don’t know.”

 

“Gerard was last summer”, Derek replied. “You’re his best friend. How can you not know?” Scott stared at his feet, a guilty look on his face. “Sheriff?” Derek asked, turning his head to the man next to Stiles.

 

“I didn’t think that he had any secrets from me, let alone Scott”, The Sheriff answered. “Looks like I’m wrong on both accounts.”

 

“I have to go back in”, Derek told Deaton. “I have to save him from whatever’s going on in there.”

 

“Maybe you should rest”, Cora suggested. “It can’t be good for you, entering someone’s mind like this.”

 

“I don’t care”, Derek insisted. “You didn’t see him. He looked like he had been battling things in there for months.”

 

The sticky electrode pads were already on his body. He leaned over to Stiles, grabbing his arm and took in his pain, closing his eyes and opening them again.

 

He heard Stiles shivering in the dark. “Stiles, it’s me. I’m back.”

 

“Go away.”

 

“I’m not going anywhere without you”, Derek told him.

 

“You brought him here. I don’t know what else you brought with you.”

 

Derek changed the color of his eyes, hoping that it would let him see in the dark. He was expecting to see the world in a bright blue color, but noticed that he saw in red.

 

“I’m an Alpha in your head”, he commented.

 

“You’re an Alpha”, Stiles mumbled. “It’s your go to line.”

 

“I’m not an Alpha anymore”, he told Stiles, sitting down next to him. “Lost it healing Cora.”

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

Derek let out a laugh. Stiles was trapped in his mind, scared and curled up in the dark, and he was sorry. “Save it for when we get you out of here.”

 

They sat there silently for a couple of minutes before Derek started speaking again. “I don’t hate you.”

 

Stiles got up and started walking around. “You don’t have to say that.”

 

“What happened with Gerard?” Derek asked, getting up too. “If he’s here, then you have to face whatever happened.”

 

Stiles shook his head. “I can’t.”

 

“It might be the only way for you to get back.”

 

Stiles spun around to face Derek. “Then maybe I don’t want to go back.”

 

Why? What happened here while he was gone that made darkness, guilt, and pain more favorable to living his life?

 

“You need to fight this. Trust me what I tell you that you can’t keep running away from it.”

  
“I don’t want to”, Stiles said simply. “And you’ll disappear again. Maybe not now, but later, or you’ll disappear once we get back. I don’t want to face it. And you can’t make me.”


	5. Chapter 5

Derek followed Stiles as he started to walk away. “Okay”, he sighed. “You don’t have to tell me about Gerard. Can you just wait a second?”

 

“Why?” Stiles asked, not even pausing a second. “You didn’t wait to say goodbye before leaving. If that’s your story and you’re actually alive with Cora.”

 

“We’re both fine”, Derek assured him. “There has to be something that you can tell me.”

 

“You want to _help_ me?” Stiles asked. “Then go back to where you came from, kill every single supernatural thing that’s out to get Beacon Hills, and leave me alone in here.”

 

Derek shook his head. “I”m not going to leave you here.”

 

Stiles spun around to face him. “Why the hell not?” He asked viciously.

 

“You’re seeing Gerard. It’s not real, Stiles. This place isn’t safe.”

 

“It’s as safe as it is out there”, Stiles replied.

 

“There are people worried about you”, Derek tried. “Scott, your father”

 

“-Are you going to add yourself to that list?”

 

Of course Derek was worried about him. What else did Stiles think he was doing in here?

 

“Some part of you sent me blank text messages”, Derek said bluntly. “And I’m here. In your head.”

 

“You came because Scott called you, didn’t you?”

 

Derek didn’t answer. Stiles let out a laugh, shaking his head and turning his back, walking.

 

“It’s not like you had control over it”, Derek said, following him. “It’s okay- Deaton explained it to me. It’s some spark of energy in your subconscious.”

 

“Maybe while I’ve been in here”, Stiles told him. “Things are starting to become a little more clear- I don’t know if you have anything to do with it or if you’re trying to twist my mind.”

 

This could be something, this could help. If Stiles was starting to remember the truth, he could try and reinforce that.

 

Derek pulled him back. “What do you remember?”

 

“I sent you blank texts once you left town. Consciously.”

 

They didn’t have to be blank- Stiles could have said something. He was always talking.

 

Derek raised an eyebrow. “Why?”

 

“Nobody tried to stop you?” Stiles asked suddenly. “When you were healing Cora? Nobody pulled you back from Jennifer, tried to physically stop you? Nobody tried to rescue you?”

 

Derek shook his head. “She wasn’t there. It wasn’t a trap. It was a choice.”

 

“Was it?” A voice asked. He knew that voice. Derek turned around.

 

“Because you thought you had a choice the last time, and we both know that’s not true, don’t we, Derek?”

 

“Why is she here?” Derek demanded. “Why is she in your head?”

 

“I-I don’t know!” Stiles sputtered.

 

Kate was walking towards them slowly, a wicked smile on her face.

 

Derek put a hand on Stiles, trying to shield him. He tried to remind himself that Kate was dead, that this wasn’t real, but if that was the case, why was she here?

 

Whatever she did, it could have been anything, and it could have been a long time ago. Stiles looked scared enough. His hand was gripping his gun tightly.

 

“Stiles, what did she do to you?” Derek asked quickly, eyes turning red and claws coming out as he looked at her.

 

“She didn’t do anything to me. I don’t know why she’s here.”

 

Suddenly, they were in the forest, watching two shadows curling up next to a bonfire. Derek felt the claws go back in, his eyes turning back to normal.

 

“Where are we?” Stiles asked.

 

“No”, Derek muttered, trying to spin Stiles around. “We’re getting out of here. Now.”

 

“I’m going to marry you one day”, he heard a younger version of himself say over the crackling noise of the fire.

 

“Who is that?” Stiles pushed past him and stepped forward, squinting his eyes to see clearer. Derek watched his younger self covered in the blanket with her- that blanket might as well be over his eyes too at that point in life.

 

“I love you”, Kate answered, looking up, and putting a hand on the boy’s cheek. “You and me, that’s all that matters.”

 

Derek felt like he was about to vomit. He wanted to scream to the younger version of himself, pick him up and shake him until he realized the truth so that he could save the family. He wanted to kill Kate right then and there if that was what was needed, but all he could do was stand here. It wasn’t real, he couldn’t change the facts.

 

He couldn’t rewrite history.

 

Stiles was looking at him and then the scene in front of them, and then back at Derek. “I was trying to be mean”, he told him. “I didn’t think Gerard was telling me the truth. I knew villains monologued- I didn’t realize he was telling the facts.”

 

“What are you talking about?” Derek asked, looking over at Stiles, whose focus was on what was going on in front of them.

 

Stiles opened his mouth like he was about to say something, but his eyes widened at the sight of something else. He grabbed his gun and started running in the opposite direction before Derek could keep him still.

 

“Stiles!” He called out after him. “What’s happening?”

 

He looked around the forest, trying to figure out what scared Stiles off so that he could fight it. A minute later, there were people and creatures surrounding him. Some he recognized from pictures in books that he heard stories from, ones that he saw Laura reading in the middle of the night so that she could handle them as the family alpha. There were some that he had never seen before, people who turned into monstrous shapes in front of him as they began to trap him inside.

 

Derek shifted as they got closer, preparing to fight them off. There was a small empty space that he could escape to. He moved to it for a split second, but Gerard filled the space, drawing out a sword. Derek looked to his left and right as Ethan and Aiden held his arms back so that he couldn’t claw his way out.

  
Gerard swung the sword back and gave a smirk before it started getting closer. Derek woke up in Deaton’s office just as the cold blade made contact with his skin.


End file.
